Every trip involves a physical experience of moving body and gear from one place to another. However, every trip is a personal excursion into dimensions that are also entirely intangible. The unseen elements to travel often have the greater significance for what we take from our journeys. The trip to The Kilns the summer of 2005 was something much more than an amazing travel experience to a beloved author’s home and meeting remarkable people, though it certainly was all that. The unseen element for me was the fulfilment not only of an old, deep-rooted longing to go to England to study Lewis but of another need so deep I could barely have expressed it.
Deeper than I could give voice to I needed to hear from God that He knew me, not just as the Christian I tried to be but as the person I really was, and am, in my soul. I needed a tangible answer to an intangible hunger and to know from stem to stern that my God knew me and cared about me specifically. I needed to know in a physical way that He acknowledged my history, my losses, my dreams, my longings. When my husband Peter gave me the trip to The Kilns and when I went, stepping out in faith to do so, God resoundingly gave me proof of being known by Him.
Running through the images, especially with the music, of that first slide show brings back a swift, sharp surge of memory along with a renewed gratitude, wonder and joy. And then I feel something between somberness and sadness contemplating even briefly what my life would have been like had I refused to go that summer for the sake of “being responsible.” A poverty of relationship and experience would have been the result. A poverty that I would have sensed and suffered but been unable to identify and a longing for something I could not name but would always feel. I would have missed the formation of relationships that have since become my closest and most beloved circle of friends.
Carolyn Curtis at The Kilns, July 2005
Walter Hooper at The Kilns, July 2005
Nan Freitag with Walter Hooper at The Kilns banquet dinner, July 2005
Susan and Joe Warren at The Kilns, July 2005
I would have never heard Susan Warren’s stories about their travels or seen the testament of God’s work in their life. I would never have met Jason and Nancy Lethcoe with whom I am still friends, or Nan Freitag who I saw again this past fall at the C.S. Lewis Writer’s Workshop at Camp Allen, or been humbled by the grace of Mike Ladra. I would not have met the renowned Walter Hooper or Aidan Mackey or Peter Cousins.
Aidan Mackey at The Kilns, July 2005
Mike Lauda at The Kilns, July 2005
Peter Cousins, July 2005
Far more sobering for me to realize is that had I chosen “the safer road” of the familiar that summer rather than responding to the whisper of the Holy Spirit in my heart I would have utterly missed one of the most amazing and life-changing things that God has ever given me: a taste of my dreams redeemed and the tangible experience of being known and loved by Him. I would have missed experiencing my Father’s heart for me. And I would be less alive now.
If you should hear a whisper in your spirit or have a longing to go to The Kilns, or perhaps to pursue something else that has been long set aside and you think is now lost and forgotten, risk sharing your heart with Him, take a step of faith and let Him lead you to your heart’s desire.
He knows and loves you, too.
Front beds at The Kilns
Six years ago this trip became one of the happiest experiences of my life, a pivotal turning point and a root of healing. This summer I will be returning to The Kilns. Oxbridge awaits!
Click here for Part 1
All of the images featured here are courtesy of me, Lancia E. Smith, and used with permission.
For more information about C.S. Lewis Foundation’s extraordinary programs at The Kilns: http://www.cslewis.org/ourprograms/thekilns/kilnstour/
Many blessings to you, friends!
Lancia E. Smith is an author, photographer, business owner, and publisher. She is the founder and publisher of Cultivating Oaks Press, LLC, and the Executive Director of The Cultivating Project, the fellowship who create content for Cultivating Magazine. She has been honoured to serve in executive management, church leadership, school boards, and Art & Faith organizations over 35 years.
Now empty nesters, Lancia & her husband Peter make their home in the Black Forest of Colorado, keeping company with 200 Ponderosa Pine trees, a herd of mule deer, an ever expanding library, and two beautiful black cats. Lancia loves land reclamation, website and print design, beautiful typography, road trips, being read aloud to by Peter, and cherishes the works of C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien, and George MacDonald. She lives with daily wonder of the mercies of the Triune God and constant gratitude for the beloved company of Cultivators.
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Living vicariously has always been a delight that happens in books and movies. As your 3 parts of the summer of 2005 unfolded I was right there with you. Lancia, your ability to write about your feelings validated mine. Your life, dear sister, has been a privilege to witness. Glory be to God in the Highest. Keep on going!!!
Thank you , Kathrena. In so many ways, you have been right there with me! I am so glad to know that these pieces help validate your own feelings. Blessings to you in every way.
[…] and C.S. Lewis was conceived in 2005 while you were visiting C.S. Lewis’s former home “The Kilns” in Oxford which is now the remarkable study center owned by the C.S. Lewis Foundation. You […]